I admired your mighty arms that grew out to bear the weight of a thousand leaves. Your powerful stance, and your glorious form, and your ability to withstand the forces of high speed winds and violent storms. I wanted to conquer you. I wanted to be on top of your cumbersome branches and see the world from your perspective. And so, I gathered courage, and prepared myself for the vertical trek. I kept reminding myself that I am human and thereby above all other creatures of God. “I must be able to defeat you, for I am the only one who can,” I told myself and set foot on your giant root. You read my mind and smiled at my innocence, as if you knew that I was little and that the laws of physics were not a part of my thoughts. I grabbed a tiny axe and drove it into your trunk and pulled myself up, repeatedly, until I got better and closer to my victory stop, but you stood there tall with your branches so motionless and your leaves so silent. Oh! How bad it must have felt while I jabbed that tiny axe into your skin, even then you were so patient and did nothing at all. Instead you warned me of your slippery surface with your voiceless speech, but there I was, as stubborn as one can be, I ignored all of it and continued to celebrate my victory, swinging over your branches and scratching my name on your bark. It was meant to happen, and so it happened – I lost control, and I then fell. You tried to embrace me, and catch me in your green bed, but I deserved to fall. Fall hard, and pay for my greedy conquest. It wasn’t your fault, and I shall never blame you. It was just me and my mindless thought, which you helped me refine. And now, when I look back upon the scars that I have left on you, I think – “You are everything that I am not, and you’re the divine force. Defeating you is impossible, for had it not been for you, I’d never know what true victory was.”
diamonds in my eyes! August 23, 2007
WOW! i just can’t seem to get past that word! wow! ahem. well, almost two weeks in paradise now, and still the surprises and gifts keep pouring in from all directions. let’s see. lemme jus check my list again..
job – check
get a cute chineese girl’s number – check
pay all debts – check
have great food – check
get in bed with a red head – hmmm…
well, looks like my dream’s coming true. all this while. but the worst part is, the more closer you get to fulfilling your dreams, your dreams keep getting bigger and bigger. it’s like that atomic subdivision or something, where things get done only to half of what remains.. or some crap like that. and that would mean things would never get done completely. right? god… wow! there i go again!
lost in a map August 17, 2007
he’s right above me, all day long. with all the power vested in him, he tries to burn my skin and set my hair on flames. he loathes me for some reason i guess. he loves to torture me with that supreme divine power of his. ugh! i pray. i pray hard, for this fire fury to die. i dream of water plunges and dim lit corners. shady trees and flowery bushes. and then it happens. the fire is washed away. the water goddess shows herself, with her sticky wetness, and muddy puddles, the chilly nights and some juicy fungus. did she kill the fire? hell no, she hasn’t. he’s right behind those black cotton mountains, waiting for that opportune moment to let go that stored up mass of energy and dessicate one and all.
after a while you get sick of these gods and goddesses and their petty stories of conquest. and you tend not to care about what effects they have on your physical existence. i guess am reaching that state now. in a week or two perhaps. and then they’ll all seem the same. on either halves of the globe. they will look alike and stink just as bad. i await. my body tolerates. and tolerates. the mess is unsettling. but.. whatever!
and then you have those micro-prints. with the most important things mentioned in micro-prints, life just keeps getting better AAAAND better! ooh yeah! kick me right up my ass. and enjoy watching me falling face down on a poison ivy bush. fuck ya! ok. back to microprints. in short – it’s probably a tricky way to keep you in vain, until you figure out things on your own and no longer depend on those squares, rectangles and other odd-shaped geometric figures drawn in the most complicated way on an A4 sized paper. to make things a bit easier, they add numbers and alphabet sequences…and ironically, end up complicating things by ten folds. and then, everything goes up in the air, and sweet randomness takes its ugly birth. now it begins to look like a shredded dictionary with all of its pieces stuck up to the wall, and as if someone took a picture of this artwork with a 5$ poloroid camera and photo-copied that with the cheapest printer in some part of southern tribal kolapur, and then gave them away as charity to poor people so that they can help themselves around.
well, that’s easy…right?
hibernation and change of world August 6, 2007
o well, it looks like i havent blogged here for quite some time. guess all my readers are frustrated with nothing to read. but now that the ground has settled, things will be back to normal.. or rather pseudo-normal. enjoy this free crap like you’ve always enjoyed taking it in the past. peace will now own the planet. and rains will wash away sewers and drains. breath in deep and smell the freshness of utter dogshit. hmmmhmmm… ain’t it?
price for motion August 6, 2007
all set to take the first big space invasion trip. that would take me all the way, to a different world. so far. that it would be more than just a journey, and seem more like a small lifetime. pretty much the lifespan of a dying goat. with an infection killing every other cell. i was to take this trip. i liked taking trips, but not this one. for it is so different, that it scares the hell out of me. this was the first of its kind in my account of trips. green plantation had to be piled up in pots and lockers for ages. they would slowly regenerate, and reproduce by the process of budding or perhaps grow in size by accretion. then i could blow all this in one go. and i’d always get my older guardian to do this for me. all in one go. the forest that had been flourishing for decades, would now disappear. and the barren land with those ugly twirls of the rotten roots jetting out of the loose soil would now be visible. and look like a bad rash, left untouched, and these roots, they’d look like diseased veins. pale and smelly. whatever’s left of the green forest would rot. but all of this was for a reason. the green patch was grown here with a reason. a reason why this plan was plotted out years ago. years. i will repay the green god. i’m sure, i’m bound to repay you. please wait…
hmmmm. now that ive written a good amount of good shit here, i'm gonna get rid of the anonymity of this blog. so all you curious freaks, it's me here - Ganesh Rao - Nesh for short.
